iPhone 3GS: Most entertaining thing in my pants since my penis?
In what has become an unexpected contest of sorts my new iPhone 3GS just might be the most entertaining thing south-of-the-belt-buckle I’ve ever played with. This revelation is an obvious upset to the status quo where my penis has been the undisputed champion in this aforementioned category since I was fourteen. The competition has been neck and neck…err um close ever since June 19th; the date the iPhone 3GS launched. In a recent interview my penis had this to say: “I can’t even believe we are seriously talking about this! I mean, ‘hello’ – SEX! Is there an app for that smart ass? And what about all the good times? I’ve been there for you at least ninety percent of the time, and a lot of those times when things ‘didn’t work out’ weren’t my fault; you know what alcohol does to me!” I response to his comments, the iPhone 3GS had this to say “Well, he obviously sounds scared and that’s perfectly understandable. I mean he’s been unchallenged for so long so this must really shake him up a bit. Yes, it is true that iPhones can’t have sex (yet), but try checking your email with your dong! And by the way, I still work no matter how drunk you are; although with ‘drexting’ sometimes I’ll bet you wish I didn’t.” I realize that my comments have obviously caused a rift between two things I love very much. At the very least I need to help bridge the gap. I know that my penis does seem to appreciate my iPhone’s ability to surf for porn, so I’m thinking I can do something with that. Also, the video on the 3GS is surprisingly good so maybe if I can get my girlfriend to make some “private movies” – I can find some more common ground there, but she’ll have to be really drunk.
